The Betrayal of Shikamaru's Heart
by Rissa Havoc
Summary: The night before he is plagued by memories of the girl he first loved, and the next day secret loves are revealed and a trip to Suna is in order, leaving Shikamaru wondering who do I love? ShikaxTem ShikaxNaru ShikaxIno. All chars are 10 years older
1. Prelude: Midnight Thoughts

-1Sometimes I find myself wondering how and when things happen, and why things never ever make sense to me. Aren't I supposed to be this intelligent person, whose feelings about things I have learned to shut down completely? If that is so why is it when I look over at the blond hair cascading down the side of my partners face, affect me so? Could it be that I feel I have betrayed them in such a way that there is no way I can forgive myself for it, or maybe it is my feeling have simply diverted to another. Flashes of a different blond haired person flies by in my vision, blurring my thoughts once more, someone that I have promised to protect all because it was all apart of the life that I have chosen. Maybe that is why 12 year olds shouldn't be able to choose what they want so suddenly, because there is no way you can tell who will surpass you in the future. It may seem funny how that happens, but it did happen with me and a certain classmate that had who just happened to be the one all who looked down upon while I was called the genius.

Ha! 'Genius,' I laugh at the word every time someone says that in a way to describe me, it almost makes me sick. If I were such a genius why am I following around a kid that I once looked down on, and married to a girl that I once could not stand for the life of me? It sends me into a confusion that I can't seem to wrap my head around, almost as if it is something that I just did not see coming even as it was happening. Funny how my thoughts wander back to ten years, as I stare up at this ceiling and wonder if my teammates and home were the right people to follow. Back then, I didn't care for girls or that fellow student that wound up being the leader of this very village, but someone found a way to change that all for me. She changed my life and now I find myself wondering…..

"Hello, anyone in there," there it was Ino's voice breaking into my peaceful, restful, and relaxing cloud gazing. Yes, I know, right now I really should be training for some big chunnin exam coming up, but I just don't have the motivation for it. Personally I would much rather stay just like this, arms behind my head as the cool grass tickles against my skin as the wind blows by. "Shikamaru," she is now yelling at me, half of the words that come out of her mouth falling on tired, deaf ears, but just to make her shut it I will get up.

"How troublesome," I say as I lift my tired and relaxed body from the ground, "what does someone have to do to get a little bit of time to just relax and what clouds?" I stretch out my limbs, let out a long yawn as I get into my usual stance. I really don't want to be here, I don't really want to be doing this, although if I said this to Ino I wouldn't here the end of it. First, it would be about how this is the best for the team, and then somehow or the other it would melt into this big declaration of love to Sasuke and how she will get her revenge against Sakura.

"Well I am very sorry about that Shikamaru, but you have been cloud gazing for most of the afternoon," there she is again, now most likely going into the 'How Important This Is and Why We Have to Train' speech. A speech that I have heard so many different versions, for many different reasons, and each has the same outcome. "And I will have my revenge against Sakura, for getting all of that time with Sasuke!!" Nothing like using the chunnin exams all for revenge, for something so unimportant like a crush that will never feel the same.

"Are you ready to spar or what," I ask a hint of annoyance in my voice, because I am up and ready in my stance and my shadow possession jutsu already in affect. Ah yes nothing like using your opponent big mouth against them, just watching her trying to make a move makes a smile comes across my face.

"Shikamaru," she yells out annoyed, "you cheat!!!"

"Not my fault, you let your guard down with all that talking," I simply explain as I let the jutsu fade away, "you really shouldn't allow your opponent such an opportunity, stay focused and don't let anything distract you. Not me, Chouji, or anyone for that matter especially, Sasuke and Sakura." Yet another reason I don't like girls all that much, because the most inconsequential things will distract them from the things that need the most attention, such as a battle or even sparring match. Although that is just how they are I guess, because I have yet to meet a girl that was able to be the exact opposite.

"Ugh," I say as I roll over trying to shut my eyes tight, hoping that sleep will just come to me very easily. Unfortunately, I am having no such luck tonight, there is just something about tonight that makes this all very different. I hear a low, tired groan from Ino, my partner for many years and now my wife, the girl that once drove me crazy with her declarations of love to Sasuke. Although now, she is one that I chose to spend my life with, or rather agreed to spend my life with. I look over at her and let out a slow, silent sigh and shake my head slowly and go back and staring at the ceiling, watching the fan turn slowly. I close my eyes and bite my lip, with the thoughts of the girl who wound up changing my life flashing before me.

Closing my eyes, I can hear the sound of her voice, and the sound of her fan whooshing in the air. That first encounter with her, she underestimated me and I never let my guard down consistently planning out my next move. The first girl I fell in love with, was loud and brash and could beat the crap out of me.

'How did I wind up here, hiding behind a tree hiding from some girl with a big fan.' I hear my inner voice scolding me as I look around the tree, gazing at the young female ninja from Suna. In the back of my mind, even before the match, I had thoughts of forfeiting the match, but that was the thing the voice in the back not to be heard or in any case obeyed. All I can really hear right now, is her taunting in an attempt to draw me out into the open for the battle as I am cursing Naruto for shoving me over the balcony. Of course that idiot had to have the first match and he just had to be all excited after he won. Although, I probably deserved that for not moving when he just appeared by my side and now here I am trying to figure out my next move.

I look up to the sky and watch as the cloud move away and bringing out the sun more clearly, the shadows on the ground grow larger. Here it is my opening I take of my shirt and tie it to a kunai and throw it in the air, the wind catching it and making it float through the sky as I perform my shadow possession jutsu once more. She jumps, even closer to a hole created by Naruto and Neji in the last match, I got her now.

I bet she didn't even notice the hole that is right behind her, because she starts in on how I really can't beat her. A small smile comes to my face, as she begins to take some steps but find that she can't do so. I come out and step towards her I see the fear in her eyes and I don't even say a word as I lift my hand up in surrender….

"Buzz, Buzz," the alarm clock goes off as Ino rolls over in the bed and gets up, its morning already and I have yet to get any sleep. It is almost sad how I have these sleepless nights, my thoughts lingering on the people that I encounter the most of all through out the day and one person that I hardly ever see anymore.


	2. When Reality Become Memories

Chapter Two: When Reality Becomes Memories

Walking through the streets of Konoha would have to be the easiest part of the day, there are no worries about the awkward conversations that I share with Ino over breakfast. For some reason I can't really look her in the eyes directly anymore, as my mind becomes plague with what Naruto needs and how I will find myself obeying every order no matter what they are. Showing my dedication to the village, even with a run for ramen, even though he perfectly capable of doing so, going on those missions that are too dangerous and travel to different villages with him. At first I was very hesitant of actually doing these things for him, but after a while I saw Naruto in a different light, he wasn't exactly the hyperactive idiot from our school days. I believe it is one of those things that Sasuke was able to change about him, while he was still with us, while he was still alive. Maybe possibly it was his death that changed Naruto, it wasn't too longer after Naruto became hokage that he died.

Sasuke's death was tragic for the village, even though he once went off to train with Orochimaru for more power, but he found himself killing the man. It wasn't too long after that Naruto and Sakura got him to come back to village, bringing the Sharigan back to Konoha and giving Naruto a new rank and making his chance of becoming hokage even better than before. After Sasuke's return it was made known that Naruto was in love with Sasuke and the feeling were returned to him, I think he was the only one who could clam and even stand being around the blond. Thanks to Sasuke, Naruto was able to actually achieve his goal become hokage but, before he could even enjoy the title Sasuke fell ill and eventually died. From his time away, Sasuke contracted a disease that no one detected, although I believe that he didn't want anyone to detect the illness as a way to punish himself for his betraying his village at a younger age.

"Shikamaru," I look up at the person calling out my name and I see Naruto and Sakura standing side by side in front of the Hokage Tower. Sakura's face is adorned with a big smile, which confuses me because it is a smile directed towards me. It makes me wonder what the hell is making her so very happy, I tilt my head and then shake it off and turn my attention to Naruto.

"Good Morning," I say in my almost whisper and bow to him and Sakura both, this is when I notice there attire which is not dress clothing but there battle gear. "Are you going on mission Rodaime," I ask seriously, almost with a hint of excitement in my voice, for it means that without a doubt I will be joining Sakura on this mission or even trip. In fact my mind is begging that this is the case, for it gets me away from home away from the awkward conversations with Ino.

A chuckle comes across my ears, it almost a pleased sounding chuckle. "You see that is why you are genius in this village, and not because of a bloodline trait," Naruto says rather amused. "We are actually going to Suna, and you will be joining us.

In that moment I swear that I felt my poor heart stop, looking at Naruto directly into his azure eyes looking for signs that he just joking. Unfortunately I had no such luck of that, or the years, he learned that in matters of the heart there is no joke at all. It had been a long time since I had seen her, does she still remember me, my thoughts run rampant in my mind. It was rather funny to me how the night before I was thinking back to when I first met her and how I met her and now presented with the chance to see her again. I swallow down my excitement and cough a bit, "so when will we depart to Suna?"

A smile goes across Naruto's face and a chuckle is freed from his throat as he nods, "We leave for Suna, first thing tomorrow morning, because I am sure you would want to share this news with Ino."

'Ino,' that name alone sends my hopes and my excitement crashing down. My wife, I forgot all about her as my mind had illicit thoughts of another woman and being reunited with her after so long. How could I have forgotten about the woman that I vowed to be with for the rest of my days. I bite down on my lip and look over at Sakura, he jade eyes squinting looking at me with displeasure, the same way she looked at me on the day I married her best friend. I could still hear her voice behind me as I prepared myself to walk down the aisle with her best friend. "Yes, of course."

I instantly turn on my heels and start heading back home, or possibly somewhere else as I turn down a road that doesn't lead home. I hear footsteps behind me and I turn instantly to be face with Haruno. Eye to eye with such and intimidating woman as her. ""I did my hardest to convince Naruto to let you sit this mission out because of Temari," she says slowly a hint of bitterness in her voice, "but there was no way to do so." Her head goes down as if looking at her feet, or perhaps mine, I watch her clench her fist tightly, "he has come to depend on you and no matter what your lingering feeling for Temari are, he still trust you and your judgment. Although it is different for me, Naruto has fallen for you and we are going to a village where the woman you love dearly resides and serves."

She looks back up at me in the eyes and squints her eyes, tears coming down the side of her face. "She may have moved on from you and you may get hurt, but please promise not to let Naruto get to you in a moment such as that, and don't wander away from Ino," She takes a breath and then shakes her head, "she loves you and it would hurt her if you did. Let the memories be memories, don't let them be a reality for you." With that she turned on her heels and walked back into the streets leaving me there pondering and confused, I had no time to process anything that was said.

My back hit the wall as I sink down to the pavement below only one thing is in my mind, only one statement in all of that. "Naruto loves me," I whisper out in shock, blinking my eyes, sitting in an alleyway the day before I am to go on a trip to Suna about to face my first love who may have moved on. "I can't do what she said….Those memories have become my reality."


End file.
